…The treadmill took me on a tour of the afterlife.” Day 1 at the gym. I stepped on the treadmill like a pro. I pressed “Quick Start.” The machine heard “Launch me to space.” I flew backward, landed near the dumbbells, ironically. Trainer said, “You okay?” I said, “I think the treadmill hates me.” Then he asked me to do burpees. I asked, “Is that like a dessert?” Now I do yoga. It’s safer. Less movement. More napping. Gym life wasn’t for me — I was built for comfort, not speed.
